Saturday, November 5, 2011

Grief Landmine

Yes, things are going really, really well. I have hope and excitement for the future, energy and passion for today, and gratitude for the wonderful memories of the past. And I am still grieving.

I am exploring the world of life transition coaching: immersing myself in training, coaching and being coached. Yesterday I went to a coaching workshop, and as always occurs in these workshops, I was coached by some very talented people. Finding my next life partner is always a hot topic with me, and by the end of the day I was wrung out, exhausted, and sadder than I have been in a very long time. I felt overwhelmed by the burdens of living and parenting alone; making decisions about schooling and housing without an invested partner seemed more than I could bear. It was less about missing T directly and more about missing the state of being married to someone I love who loves me, but wow, I guess I forgot about how painful the missing and longing is.

Thankfully, I'm feeling much more stable today. I mean, I have this great life! But holy cow, will the yearning for a life partner ever wane?

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