My husband died of a cardiac arrythmia in April 2008. This blog is the record of my work to return to wholeness.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
I am starting this blog as an outlet for my thoughts and feelings, and as a record for my daughter, as I continue down the road of surviving the loss of a spouse. My husband T died suddenly and unexpectedly in his sleep at 48. Our daughter B was 21 months at the time, and T's son D from a previous relationship was eight. It has been nearly eighteen months, and I am ... what am I? Not destroyed -- I can function normally most of the time. But most definitely not whole either. My loss is a lens that colors everything I see, feel, do. My life partner is gone, and I am only half of what I was and expected to be. I know that wholeness is possible, that integrating a profound loss is achievable, even if "healing" or "recovery" is not.
And so this blog will be a record of my work to return to wholeness.