It still has the power to shock me

Driving down the road the other day, thinking about nothing in particular, it suddenly hit me that T was dead. "Wow", I thought, "How could that be? How can a person be there one day, and then suddenly gone the next? How can I be living this life of a widow, without him?" There was even body language involved -- I noticed myself blinking my eyes, shaking my head, snorting a little. No tears, no big wave of sadness, just ... disbelief.